I’m in the process of applying for funding to do workshops for my musical. Again, there has been stress, worry, and anxiety. But this time I’m handling it quite well. I know how to deal with the unwanted emotions, feelings and physical discomforts that come with them. It is because I have kept on learning strategies and practicing them that help me through. Here, I would like to share what I’ve learned and what I’ve found useful with those who need them.
It’s inevitable that I worry; I worry about not being qualified; I worry about not doing it correctly; I worry about not meeting the deadline… I lacked confidence. I did not trust my decisions. I was impatient. Recently I have been learning some self-help techniques which not only help me to relax but I can sleep. Usually, when I have something I was not certain of, like the unknown of the future, the unknown of whether my plan will work, something I thought was out of my control, I couldn’t sleep. This time, with some old self-help techniques and some newly acquired ones I stay relaxed, and anxiety is gone. Of course, I still worry, but I turn the good worry into motivation and drive myself to find solutions. I also accept that if it comes to a failure, I’ll take it as a fact that I cannot actually do anything about it except to learn from it and find other ways or wait till the next opportunity.
I have learned to draw up a joyful memory, for example, a beautiful scenery which has made me so happy and peaceful, with my eyes closed, visualize it, sense all the good sensations that come with it, deep breaths, say in my mind description like ‘I’m peaceful’ or ‘beautiful’ or any other positive ones. Then feel how my body reacts. When I do that my brain is relaxed, I’m energized, I feel calm. After that I will do something I’d love to do, it can be singing, dancing, Chinese calligraphy, or any art I enjoy doing. Then I’m totally distracted from what’s bothering me. When it is bedtime I make sure that I’m tired enough to sleep, and I make sure that I am relaxed; if I have doubts I do the imagery exercise until I’m relaxed before heading to sleep. Our minds can change our brains. It is because of brain plasticity, when we practice self-techniques consistently, repetitively, new pathways can be created that change our behavior. It gets easier and quicker for me to feel relaxed when I use self-help techniques often.
We need the courage to change things. One of my weaknesses is lacking confidence. I was not sure whether I had done things the correct way. I always need assurances. Then with these self-help techniques, especially the imagery one, I concentrate on positive thoughts. I become more assertive, trust my decisions, and have patience.
I am impatient, impulsive, and I am overwhelmed easily. With these self-help techniques, I have found ways to become better. I learn and I grow. I believe my future will be good.
我正在於為我的音樂劇的一些工作室的建設而申請經費的過程中。於是那些壓力,憂心和焦慮又再來臨了。但是這次我應付得很好,我清楚知道怎樣去應對那些與此俱來而不想有的激動情緒和感受,與及身體感應到的不舒服。這是因為我在不停地去學習和運用策略;不停地去練習使用它們來令我得以越過這些障礙。我希望在這里與那些需要這類策略的人來分享我所學到的和認為有用的。在這過程當中,我是無可避免地會感到憂慮,我担心我的資格夠不夠,担心我做得是否對也憂慮會不會過了限期！我缺乏信心,我懷疑自己的決定,我一路都很不耐煩。最近我學到了一些新的自助技巧來令到我不但可以令身心放松,而且可以令我安然而睡。通常當我遇到了一些不能肯定的事情時,例如不知道未來會怎樣,我的計劃會有效嗎？和一些我覺得自己不能控制的事情時,我就會失眠。而這次,我運用了一些舊的和新學的自助策略後,我就可以保持身心鬆馳,再也沒有焦慮。當然我還是有一點點担心的。但是我會把它們轉為做“好的担心“。把它們當做鼓勵力量,來去推動我自己去尋找解決問題的方法。同時我也接受了失敗會有可能出現,我會把它當作我無法去改變的事實。祇有去從中學習,另找途徑和等待下一次機會。我已學會了去搜尋一個愉快的回憶,例如一個曾令我非常快樂的和安祥的情景;我會閉上眼睛去想象我已看到它了,去感受它所傳遞出的歡悅;我會深呼吸,在我腦海中告訴自己“我是安祥的“,"我是美好的"或者其他正面的自我安慰,然後去感受著我體內的良好的反應。這時刻,我就覺得自己人已放鬆了,已回復充滿能量了而踏進那安靜境界。跟著我會做些我平常喜愛的活動,可以是唱歌,跳舞,写中文書法或者其他我覺得享受的藝術。那時我就會完全拋掉了所有令我煩惱的事。當我去睡眠時,我會去確定了我已經是疲累到需要睡眠了;而且我已是身心放松了,才去睡,假如我不知道是否足夠了,我就會做那個剛提到的"快樂回憶"程序直到我感覺到已足夠放松了才去睡。我們的思考是會改變我們的腦子,這是因為它是有彈性的。當我們持續地和反覆地去做那些自助的技巧時,這是可以創做一些新的途徑來改變我們的行為的。這樣會令我自己比較容易和快一些去達到了那個感受放鬆的階層。我們需要勇氣去改變事物。我的弱點就是缺乏信心,不能肯定所做的事是正確的,我常常需要保證。當我擁有了這些技巧後;特別是那"美好想像"技巧,我就能集中正面的思維,可以信任決定和有耐性,改變了我以前的弊病。我相信我已經找到了會令我更好的工具。我會去繼續學習和成長,我深信我將會有一個美好的未來！